to him.

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

I woke up from a terrible nightmare this morning. I woke up to him. I saw him and hugged him. and remembered where I was, with him. The person who makes me feel safe, secure and invincible in his arms. I once was ruins. but I rebuilt myself, and he has also been a huge part of leading me back to myself. This excerpt that this is from is Eat Pray Love. My favorite book, in a very lonely and fitting time, back when I was 18. I was lost and just wanted to find my way. I was once afraid of change. Then the movie came out 3 years later. And I had been lost and ruined since. I became incapable of believing love was real. I also thought the last character she meets, was unrealistic. How could a man be so perfect, loving, handsome, smart and such an unbelievable brilliant balance of a man. But whats funny about this movie/book. Is the ending, is similar to mine. I found my happy ending. I found that man. I'm so thankful for it too. He was once a stranger, someone I wished to someday be close to. And now I can't imagine my days without him. He's what makes my heart beat stronger. And my breath have reason. I love him.